Baby Steps

So, the recent drama is with my pediatrician. Last week I came home to a message on my machine from her saying that our OT had called, concerned about Ethan’s diet, that he wasn’t getting the nutrition he needed. W.T.F! She proceeded to suggest meeting with a nutritionist and doing some allergy testing for celiac disease. For those of you who aren’t familiar with celiac disease, it’s basically a wheat/gluten allergy that results in a distended belly, and an inability to process nutrients resulting in a failure to thrive situation, basically. Okay, any of you who know Ethan know he’s a big kid. No failure to thrive there, I’d say. But, who am I? Just a mom who figured out what was wrong with her kid before her pediatrician did! Actually, the ped still hasn’t diagnosed him and she’s been seeing him since he was two, so don’t you think she’d notice a failure to thrive or distended belly?! But, again, I digress. So, this doesn’t add up to me because my OT had just told me how impressed she was with Ethan’s food list (we’ve been doing something called food chaining to introduce new foods, tastes, smells, textures into Ethan’s diet because he is ultra sensitive in the smell and taste department, which has previously resulted in him being the uberpicky eater of the house). I call my OT. I leave a message. I wait four excruciating days. But, she does indeed call back. She had been on vacation, not avoiding me. When I told her the message from my ped. she just cracked up. “That is absolutely not what I said,” she said, which is what I had figured. I could tell you the whole conversation, but you would get bored and sick of acronyms. Suffice to say, it all can be chalked up to ignorance of or not paying credence to or not even acknowledging alternative healing methods, and really not knowing the language involved, and there definitely is another language involved here, believe me.

This whole thing begs the question, Why is something I find so logical considered to be alternative? Haven’t we always been told we are what we eat? What Ethan was eating was starving and dazing his brain, so we changed it to something that would feed that brain instead. I give you …

Exhibit A: a conversation between Ethan and me just last night.
Me: You’ve got school pictures tomorrow bud.
E: Okay.
Me: (Scooby Doo-like surprised sounds in my head, complete with the wacky eyeballs and head shake. So shocked I couldn’t say anything. He’s always hated pictures.)

Exhibit B: This morning, before school.
Me: You’ve got total bed head. I’m gonna have to spray it and brush it down for PICTURES, okay?
E: Okay.
Me: (Scooby Doo-like surprised sounds in my head, complete with the wacky eyeballs and head shake. He has always hated it when we touch his head.)

Additional exhibits:

• He started rattling off the names of his classmates that he wants to invite to his July birthday party. Previously, even despite me asking, he could only remember the names of two or three classmates, one of whom is one of my best friends’ daughters so he sees her all the time and doesn't really count. Well, she counts, but in a different way.
• Out of nowhere, he insists on drawing a picture for James (when E said this I looked quizzical, wondering if he was a friend from class whose name he'd never mentioned, and E looked at me and said, “You know, your friend who came and visited.” [Please note this means he is understanding facial expressions which is another thing he’s always had problems with.] James visited last summer.) This alone is a big deal on many fronts including name recognition, understanding of relationship, memory, and so much more. It all amounts to him being PRESENT.
• He eats all his protein every meal and is eating more than just apples and carrots in the fruit/veg category (casein issues often deplete zinc, which can cause a complete aversion to fruits, veggies and protein because it alters the way they taste).
• How about HE FLUSHES THE TOILET NOW! Maybe not every single time, and maybe sometimes he still has moments of fear about it, but he does it.

There are so many more little strides here and there. Sure, we still struggle with many things every day, but baby steps. He’s still sad and struggles with his self-esteem, but this is very typical of SPD kids and, I think, will be our biggest hurdle. But he’s starting to jump the smaller ones and I have hope and faith that he will leap over those biggies with a huge smile on his face some day.